In a story that seems better suited for The Onion or a Saturday Night Live skit, former poker couple Dan and Beth Shak are in a bitter post-divorce battle over a massive shoe collection. Getting into the specifics, Beth Shak has around 1,200 designer label shoes that are collectively worth $1 million. If you’re doing the math, that’s an average of $833 per pair of shoes!

Apparently, Dan Shak wasn’t happy when he heard about how much the shoes were worth because they weren’t included in the divorce settlement. Considering the fact that he thinks the $1 million in shoes could’ve given him at least another $350k in the divorce, Dan has chosen to take Beth to court. An excerpt from his lawsuit that was printed in the New York Post reads as follows:

In the summer of 2011, Daniel became aware that Beth owned and failed to disclose an extensive . . . collection of Christian Louboutin shoes . . . and other high-end designer shoes and bags. Dan trusted his wife and was not inspecting his home to try to find inventory or secret rooms.

The thing that really sticks out here is how Dan Shak is trying to say that Beth hid the shoes in a secret room. She responded to this thinly-veiled accusation by saying, “I’m shaking my head over this whole thing. He is saying he didn’t know the closet in our master bedroom existed.”

On the surface, it doesn’t seem like either member of this former couple is doing too well. Beth claims to be a poker pro – despite not having cashed in a tourney since 2010 – while Dan saw his hedge fund company, SHK Asset Management, lose millions of dollars after the gold market plummeted. And the shoe lawsuit is just the couple’s latest debacle.